30 Day Shred

So, since I am kicking my own ass and forcing myself to be fully committed to creating healthy habits for life and all that jazz, I have decided that I am going to do the Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred challenge.  I almost wrote "try" but failure is not an option this time.

Not too long ago, I would have talked about it for a while, thought about it for a while longer, and eventually decide that I wasn't ready.  I discovered the video yesterday, and I started yesterday.  I'm going to do short journal entries for each day, and stick to it this time. 

Day One, Level One

I felt awkward in my new workout outfit since my shorts and top seemed to accentuate every roll, and somehow create new ones.  Fought through it.  I laid my mat down, grabbed my dumbbells, and strutted around the house for 10 minutes or so.  Jade kept looking at me, and I got a little self concious.  Called him on it, caught myself, and continued on.  I closed the doors to the living room and started the video.

While at work, I watched through the video so I knew what I was getting into.  I'm glad I did, because it made starting much less frightening.  The two women doing it with Jillian are Anita (for beginners) and Natalie (for advanced/returning people).  I followed Anita for most of the time, but did follow Natalie for some moves or half the time.

I did a lot better than I thought I would. My endurance definitely needs some work though.. I often stopped for longer than 5 seconds, but I didn't give up.  I fought through it and I completed it.  I missed half of a couple of the exercises, and dropped the dumbbells from a few of them (my arms ached so badly).  I am aware of my abs now, and my upper arms feel heavy.  Not hurting enough to think that I really pushed myself to my limits. Day two is going to be hell.

Day 2, Level One

Had to stop a couple times, but managed to push myself through some of the tough bits from yesterday. I got to the point where I was actually grunting and groaning, and while I didn't feel like I wanted to be sick during the workout, I certainly felt that way for a brief time afterwards.

My arms felt like butter, and I'm wondering if I should get myself some smaller/lighter weights.  The ones I have are 8lbs each and it seems like a lot to just dive right into.  I want to push myself, but not hurt myself. I can't go the whole 30 seconds per exercise with them both.  Maybe tomorrow I'll try it with the one and alternate hands.

Though I felt like I did worse today (because I had to stop), I think my endurance was up a bit.  I am proud of myself for the fact that I never stopped longer than one minute, and I hopped right back in even though I wanted to quit. I also completed more exercises than I did yesterday.

I want to succeed so badly.  This time my goals are going to be reached. This time, I am going to succeed and nothing is going to stop me.

I think it may be nap time now.

** Edit: So, my muscles certainly did ache mid-afternoon. I don't notice it until I get up to walk around, which I made sure to do every half hour or so. It's far too easy to just sit in front of a screen all day and get next to no physical activity.

New goals: Work on correcting posture, and ultimate goal weight is 160lbs.

I can fucking do this.

Today is the third day of me consciously not eating meat.  I have to admit, I'm feeling pretty fantastic, and I am super thankful to have a tasty, versatile protein alternative that is constantly at my fingertips (thanks, hemp seeds :D) since I really do not like tofu.

Portion control has been steady, and my sweet tooth seems to be under control.  I haven't had anything to drink besides water, skim milk, or coffee, and while sometimes I miss the taste of pepsi, I have found that over the past few months, when I have allowed myself to have some, I can barely finish half a can.  It's hard to believe that I used to easily down an entire 2L bottle and still want more.

My skin is looking amazing, too.  I'm going to chalk that up to the water consumption (I'm drinking at least 8-10 cups a day) and the good ol' hemp seeds and all their fancy omega oils.

I'm beginning to venture into the forums on myfitnesspal (while staying on top of my food diary entries).  I think this will be good.  The fact that I did not allow months and years to lapse between my efforts is making me feel even more confident in the changes that I"m making.

Weighed in this morning - 202lbs.  I am only four pounds away from being half way to my goal weight! (pre-Vegas. Seven more to go for that goal)

I FEEL SO FREAKING GOOD.

So, I did weigh myself the day I said I would, but I never got around to posting it.  Gained a bit back, as expected, but it is not as much as I thought it would be.  My weight was just under 203lbs.

I have been consistently eating breakfast, and keeping myself hydrated.  Need to work on getting more exercise and improve my sleeping routine.

I'd like to lose at least 10lbs before we head off to Vegas mid-October. Totally achievable if I stick to what I'm doing..

I'm reducing my meat consumption even more than I have been over the last few years.  Not going full out vegetarian, but I'm definitely going to be aiming for no more than 3 servings of meat per week, and I'm going to expand my recipe book and start trying new things. I need to get myself back in the kitchen regularly.

Tomorrow morning I will do a weigh in.  It's out there now.. I'm committed.

B: 118
W: 102
H: 126

That's what I'm restarting with.  I don't have my weight - I'll find out tomorrow morning.  It'd be easy if I had a scale, but all I've got is my Wii Fit balance board.

I've eaten breakfast two days in a row now, and I've decided that I'm going to start using myfitnesspal again to track my eating.  I was doing really well with that.. it seems to work by holding me accountable.

Didn't go skating last night, but I'm not going to make an excuse.  Instead, I'll go tonight.. even if it's only for half an hour. I'm going to push myself a little more, and make sure my ankle is wrapped just in case.

I'm still feeling exhausted, but I'm feeling good too.  One step at a time.. one day at a time.  Breathe.

Hormones; the bane of my efforts to eat healthy.

I love being a woman. I love being a female. I love pretty much everything about it.. except my period.  The hormones drive me crazy, the cramps are a bitch to deal with, and I am constantly craving salty, fatty, awful, and deliciously sinful foods.

I'm going to be straight up.. I've been lazy with my eating habits lately. I haven't cared about making sure I eat breakfast, or that I've had a lot of fried foods lately.  I have, however, been much better with portions (I eat so much less now comparatively.. and it is due to my body's own volition, huzzah!).  I haven't had as many veggies or fruit as I'd like, but that is more because it hasn't been available, rather than me just not eating them.

If I could, I'd eat nothing but veggies all the time.

I am trying to exercise more.  I flailed (and injured myself) at the derby tryouts, but I'm going to keep skating.  At least three times a week, making sure I get rest as well.  I really pushed myself the day before the try outs, and bailed pretty badly a few times.  I'm convinced that my body resisted and protested in outrage because I didn't not give it a chance to rest.

My throat is phlegmy and I've been feeling exhausted, but I'm going to keep on keeping on.  I will get my measurements again sometime this week and reboot this whole experience.  Perhaps not a daily blog, though.. a minumum of four times a week, maybe.

Open to your thoughts, concerns, and encouragement.

I kind of want to eat myself into oblivion right now.  I won't.. but, I want to.