Feel Good Progress!

Vandalism; needless, pointless, and expensive.  Good morning, and happy Thursday to you too, random citizen!

This morning started off a little rough.. slept in, ran a little late, Jade was having trouble finding paperwork that he needed, but no matter.. we were on our way into town and the sun was shining.  About half way there, I got a text message from my friend Erin, the manager of the downtown store, asking me to call her as soon as possible.  She walks by my shop every morning to bring her daughter to school, so I figured that something had happened.  Lo and behold, a large piece of concrete was thrown through my shop's window last night.  Joy.

While my past self would have spent time worrying, stressing, and craving junk to cope, I found that I confronted the situation calmly, with patience, and with an ease that I am happy to have found once again.  It was a hassle, but not unmanageable.  It adds to my debt load, but it's not unreasonable.  I did not find myself reaching for something sweet or something salty, and I found that I did not have an emotional black hole to try to fill.  I felt confident and I felt in control, but, perhaps most importantly, I felt proud.

It's only been a couple of weeks since I've really started to crack down on my eating habits, but I have already seen some drastic improvements, physically, emotionally and on a certain level, spiritually.  My clothes are already fitting a bit better.  I weighed myself this morning - 92kg (202.4 pounds - much better than the ~215 starting weight I had a couple of weeks back.)  Though I am not focusing on the numbers of my weight, it is encouraging to see the number drop.  I'm a big fan of tangible results, so it was an extra kick of encouragement.

I am very much looking forward to the day when I will not have to feel self concious about sitting down.  I don't like the way my stomach rolls protrude; even when I'm hidden, or you cannot see the lower half of me, I feel exposed, judged, and at the worst times, ashamed.  It's sad.. I preach that everyone should love their body no matter what shape or size, yet I have such a hard time doing that myself.  Step by step, I'm working on 100% true self love while I work towards my goals.  Every day gets a little easier.

Jade was finally approved for his funding for schooling, so we celebrated by going out for food.  While it would have been very easy for me to fall into my old habit of "I've had a rough day, I deserve a treat" mode, I instead chose something from the Lifestyle Choice menu from White Spot.  There are only three items, but they are all tasty.  I decided to go for the chicken breast burger, on a multigrain bun, with lettuce, red onion, tomato and chipotle sauce.  It came with a side of a tossed salad with artisan greens, and a raspberry vinigarette. Very tasty and very satisfying.  I walked away feeling full, and feeling great.

Every decision, no matter how small, affects us in one way or another.  I cannot describe how good it feels to have this lifestyle change feel natural, and not be a chore.  Soon I won't even have to think about it.

SW: 215
CW: 203

Neck: 60cm
Waist: 105cm
Hips: 124cm
Bust: 116cm

I promise a picture will come soon.