Day Nine, Level One

Felt a little rough after the rides at the fair last night, so I didn't end up doing the workout.  I pretty much crawled straight into bed after we got home.  Tonight is day nine, and I'm gonna rock it.

Day 7, Level One

Felt so exhausted that day, and only made it half way through the workout. I didn't make it through, but I sure as hell do not regret trying.  I did manage to stay within my calorie goal, though, despite going out for horrible food on a friend's cheat day.  We went to Red Robin's.. the food was awful. Didn't even feel like the cheat meal was worth it.  Ugh.  I'm not beating myself up about it, though.  I am making lifestyle changes.. these changes need to be sustainable. It is okay to eat what I want every once and a while. I will always be faced with temptation.  I just need to learn how to take moderation in stride.

I need to stop associating food with guilt. It is not healthy, and it only compromises my efforts to get healthier.  I am working on building a healthier relationship with food. I will not allow that self-destructive behaviour to dominate my thoughts anymore.

Day 8, Level One

Still feeling exhausted.. it's that lovely time of the month.  Was faced with junk food choices again, but managed to take it in stride.  Jade took me out for ice cream as a weekend treat.  I blissfully accepted, as I've been craving some ice cream for days.  He got a milk shake, I got a small, single scoop cone.  I enjoyed it, and I was proud that I didn't even think about beating myself up for it.

Heather was ill on Friday, and ordered pizza for dinner tonight.  I did go to the grocery store and get a lot of veggies for a salad, but ended up eating pizza anyways.  I went for a long, vigourous 2 hour walk that morning and intended to do my 30DS workout (which I DID do).  I  had three slices, and was still under my calorie goal for the day. Woo!

I had to stop a couple of times, but I did make it through the video.  When I was done, I still felt sleepy, but my body was not as exhausted as it has been previously after completing the workout.  I did put effort into it, but I'm not sure if it felt different because I didn't fully exert myself or if I'm just building up endurance.  It almost felt like I cheated somehow, but I don't think I did.. I sure was cursing during the routine.  I forced myself to start it up, and I'm glad that I did last night.  Didn't bother with the Wii Fit, though.  Tonight that will be added for sure.

Two more days left of Level One.  I'll allow myself a rest day on Tuesday, then dive right back in into Level Two.  Not looking forward to another 4 days of constant aches from new muscles getting worked.

Day 6, Level One

I almost go through the push-ups!  I stopped for about 5 seconds twice. That is miles ahead of where I was from even the last day.  Endurance is up, arms are looking toned, and I'm feeling like this whole journey is going to be even more amazing than I thought.

My knees are feeling a little bit sore today, but I'm not too sure why.  I want to push myself even harder tonight, since level two is just around the corner (and I need to prepare for another 4 or 5 days of constant aches and pains from a whole new workout) but at the same time, I don't want to injure myself.  I'm not feeling any strain or pain from my knees during the workouts, though.. I'll just have to pay some extra attention to them tonight.

Bought the Wii Zumba Fitness dance game and can say that I am thoroughly disappointed. They are terrible at teaching you the moves, giving you no instruction beyond emulating the person on screen. I tried, and they kept saying "Great, perfect!" even though I know I was getting nowhere near the moves.  I then stopped and just shook the controller, got plenty of "Great, perfect!" encouragements, and promptly shut it off.  I'm going to be returning that for sure.  Jade and I are interested in getting the Playstation Move, so perhaps I'll get a more pop-esque dancing game for that instead.   I just want some aerobics workouts that have a good beat to get lost in.

Fridays are going to be my weigh in days, along with the beginning/end days of the levels for the 30DS.  This morning, I hopped on my balance board, and took the plunge.  To be honest, I was a little scared of what the result would be since I know I've been gaining muscle (which is good, I know, but it's the psychological aspect of "failing" that I was afraid of)

Result: 200.5 lbs. That is a 7% loss from my starting weight. Awwwwww, yeeeaaahhh.

My goal is to be at least 190lbs before we leave for Las Vegas, and at this rate, that is so very, very achievable. I may even hit my high goal of being 175lbs by Christmas if I keep this up.

Gonna push through this and make it happen.  Emmie, if you're still reading this, you're up next.

Day 5, Level One

Again, didn't do this until late at night.  I don't want anyone else to see me doing it because I feel super vulnerable in my workout clothes and find myself in compromising positions for a lot of it.  I don't know if exercising so close before bed is good or bad, or if it doesn't matter, but I'm wondering if I'm having trouble because I do it at the end of the day.  I suppose it doesn't really matter, because I'm still pushing myself, and I'm still seeing results.

I ended up (mercifully) getting a few breaks for a couple minutes each during the workout, because the buffering on my PS3 kept freezing, forcing me to get up, wait, turn the machine off, turn it back on, wait some more, then find the video again. I also didn't quite meet my calories burned goal for the Wii Fit portion of my workout, but I did do about 75% of it.

Those damn push-ups in circuit one got me again.  I'm not even doing the real ones.. they're they girly half-push-up ones.  I'm proud though; even though I did take a few 5 second breaks, I managed to do two sets of 10 without stopping. That is an improvement for sure.

The jump rope cardio part is also challenging for me. I've modified the move even more to alternate from one foot to the next.. seems to be easier on my ankles.

Friday is my weigh in day.  I'm excited, but nervous.. I may not have lost any (in fact, I may have gained due to muscle) so I am preparing for that.  I have a feeling though, that as prepared as I may be for that possibility, it may really disappoint me.  Carry on, carry on.

Day 4, Level One

We didn't get home until about 10:45pm yesterday night.  While I know that a solid sleeping pattern is essential to health (especially when you're trying to get into shape) I did not want to let the fact that it is late stop me from doing my workout, so I threw on my workout clothes, rolled out the yoga mat, and started up the video.

Again, circuit one was a pain and a struggle to get through.  My greatest weakness: the push-ups.  It hurts my arms so badly when I do multiples that it makes the other exercises hard to do.  I did have to rest several times, but I made it through. I think I am going to practice push ups outside of my work out times to build up my endurance for those.

The rest of the workout was good for the most part.  Again, the weights are a little heavy for me to be doing both arms simultaneously for some of the exercises, but I've modified the ones that I am having trouble with to one arm at a time, with bursts of me pushing myself and doing both arms for as long as possible.

Instead of doing Jillian's cooldown, I did my own.  I skipped the Wii fit portion of my daily workout routine because by the time I was all done with this, it was just after midnight.  I'm going to make up for it tonight by finding ways to sneak in some extra exercise.

I am feeling pretty damn good today.. not sore at all, really.  I also broke my own rule and measured myself today before the week was up.. I'm rather pleased with the results.

I started with this:

B: 118
W: 102
H: 126

I now have these measurements:

B: 111.5cm
W: 101cm
H: 122cm

That is a total loss of 10.5cm, which is the equivalent of just over 4 inches. Holy. Fuck.

Day 3, Level One

My muscles ached so badly yesterday that I honestly (and truly) considered letting myself not do the workout for the evening.  Thankfully I didn't go easy on myself, and pushed through it.  I never regret a workout once its complete, but I certainly do regret going days without exercising.  I'm tired of allowing myself to make excuses.  The best results come from pushing through the undesirable and uncomfortable parts.

I had a hard time pushing through circuit 1.  The push ups honestly made me cry out because my arms are so sore and feel like jelly, but I did what I could. I stopped several times during the 30 second time frames, but I did not give up.  I only got through about half of the strength training exercises, but I did 'em too.  The only part that I felt I did adequately on was the abs.  Goodbye, tummy.

By the end of the first 10 minutes, and as we moved into circuit 2, I felt energized and ready to rock.  I seriously kicked circuit 2's ass.. didn't stop, did almost all of the advanced moves, and felt my endurance kick it up a notch. Nailed it!

I got through circuit 3 pretty well too, but by the end, I was exhausted and wanted to do nothing but lie on the floor and not move.  I did have to stop a couple of times, but they were very brief pauses, and I pushed myself double time to make up for them.

This morning I woke up with less aches in my legs and stomach, but my arms are still sore. I read some reviews about the 30DS online, and some people switch the levels up throughout their days.  I think I'm going to stick with the 10.10.10 method this round, and perhaps vary the levels the next time I decide to torture myself.  While doing the same routine for seven days in a row can get repetitive, I'm pretty sure it's designed to work with that timeframe.  I'm already seeing results, so I don't want to mess with it too much.

Today is Day 4, Level One. I am half looking forward to it, but I can also say that the 30 day goal feels so far away.

30 Day Shred

So, since I am kicking my own ass and forcing myself to be fully committed to creating healthy habits for life and all that jazz, I have decided that I am going to do the Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred challenge.  I almost wrote "try" but failure is not an option this time.

Not too long ago, I would have talked about it for a while, thought about it for a while longer, and eventually decide that I wasn't ready.  I discovered the video yesterday, and I started yesterday.  I'm going to do short journal entries for each day, and stick to it this time. 

Day One, Level One

I felt awkward in my new workout outfit since my shorts and top seemed to accentuate every roll, and somehow create new ones.  Fought through it.  I laid my mat down, grabbed my dumbbells, and strutted around the house for 10 minutes or so.  Jade kept looking at me, and I got a little self concious.  Called him on it, caught myself, and continued on.  I closed the doors to the living room and started the video.

While at work, I watched through the video so I knew what I was getting into.  I'm glad I did, because it made starting much less frightening.  The two women doing it with Jillian are Anita (for beginners) and Natalie (for advanced/returning people).  I followed Anita for most of the time, but did follow Natalie for some moves or half the time.

I did a lot better than I thought I would. My endurance definitely needs some work though.. I often stopped for longer than 5 seconds, but I didn't give up.  I fought through it and I completed it.  I missed half of a couple of the exercises, and dropped the dumbbells from a few of them (my arms ached so badly).  I am aware of my abs now, and my upper arms feel heavy.  Not hurting enough to think that I really pushed myself to my limits. Day two is going to be hell.

Day 2, Level One

Had to stop a couple times, but managed to push myself through some of the tough bits from yesterday. I got to the point where I was actually grunting and groaning, and while I didn't feel like I wanted to be sick during the workout, I certainly felt that way for a brief time afterwards.

My arms felt like butter, and I'm wondering if I should get myself some smaller/lighter weights.  The ones I have are 8lbs each and it seems like a lot to just dive right into.  I want to push myself, but not hurt myself. I can't go the whole 30 seconds per exercise with them both.  Maybe tomorrow I'll try it with the one and alternate hands.

Though I felt like I did worse today (because I had to stop), I think my endurance was up a bit.  I am proud of myself for the fact that I never stopped longer than one minute, and I hopped right back in even though I wanted to quit. I also completed more exercises than I did yesterday.

I want to succeed so badly.  This time my goals are going to be reached. This time, I am going to succeed and nothing is going to stop me.

I think it may be nap time now.

** Edit: So, my muscles certainly did ache mid-afternoon. I don't notice it until I get up to walk around, which I made sure to do every half hour or so. It's far too easy to just sit in front of a screen all day and get next to no physical activity.

New goals: Work on correcting posture, and ultimate goal weight is 160lbs.

I can fucking do this.